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By dans316 On 2015.07.26 21:10
My wife June was transferred from the hospital to the local Hospice today. About a week ago she started choking on liquids, at first only once or twice a day, but the rate increased until Friday when she was choking on almost every sip. She also choked on Cereal in the morning and I called 911. By the time the ambulance arrived she had stopped coughing/ wheezing and we opted to see her PCP. He found nothing but didn't rule out the possibility of Pneumonia. About 9 pm Friday night she started to worsen so I took her to the ER. She had developed pneumonia as well as a kidney malfunction, also had a subdural hematoma, but I have no idea when she might have fallen. She fell in our garage on 3/10/2015, but went to the ER and it didn't show up then on a cat scan, so it remains a mystery. Anyway the pneumonia wasn't responding to antibiotics mostly because of the aspirating of liquid secretions from her throat and mouth. She also started having problems breathing. Her Neuro came in to see her today, but didn't have any magic pills. He seemed of the opinion that the pneumonia was the main problem, while the Internist said the Parkinson's was the problem. A vicious circle for a Parkie. Al, I did bring up with the hospice nurse, what would be the cause of death on the death certificate. I requested that the cause be Parkinson's or at least complications from Parkinson's. I have to confer with the doctor here to get that
done. Bottom line is June does not have much time left, for 10 years she's fought this disease, only to lose the battle.

Dan

By LOHENGR1N On 2015.07.26 22:10
Dan, my thoughts and prayers are with You and Yours in this sad and hard time you're facing. Sincerely Al

By Mary556 On 2015.07.26 22:12
Dan, I'm so sorry. Your dear June has fought very bravely. You have been right there beside her to support her every step of the way. Such a strong love will sustain and comfort both of you now.
The Hospice staff will know how to keep June comfortable.
You have given your wife such excellent care. You have given her Hawaiian ice cream parties and many other treasures. Your constant love, thoughtfulness, patience and gentleness are an inspiration to me as a caregiver.
Re: hematoma, maybe she did not actually fall? (If she wobbled and bumped against furniture or the bathroom sink, that could cause bruising as well.) It seems like nothing you could have prevented.
You are both remembered in my prayers.

By makrivah On 2015.07.26 22:54
My prayers are with you. Words fail me.

By jcoff012 On 2015.07.26 23:27
Dan, you know how I love you and June. I came on here several times today, but didn't feel it was my place to share this sad news. Thank you for knowing I will always respect you both. As I said earlier, anything you need that we can do, is yours. Know your love has been constant and your care is a true blessing for June. We all know how much you love each other and know I will never think of Hawaii without pausing to think of you and June.

Keep posting if it helps. I will watch out for news...in a quiet time, let June know, as only your dear heart can, that there are many of us who are keeping her in our hearts.

Rest when you can.

We ALL are better for sharing with you and witnessing your love. Love always, My Hawaiian Friends, Jane

By ResistanceFutil On 2015.07.27 09:20
I am sorry for what you and your beloved wife are experiencing. Thank you for your efforts to have Parkinson's on the certificate when June passes. This will be a help to the rest of us in our upcoming battles with this disease.

I am hoping that Hospice care will make this a bit easier for you both. Wishing you both comfort and peace during this sad time.

By jaxrock On 2015.07.27 10:45
Oh, Dan, I'm so sorry....what a sad time for you...it's a long road, isn't it?
My sincere thoughts and prayers are with you.

By VioletV On 2015.07.27 12:58
Oh Dan,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and June. It is a blessing for her to have your devoted care and presence. I do hope that the hospice experience leads you both to a loving and gentle resolution.

VV

By moonswife On 2015.07.27 22:05
Dan, all of us are feeling the ache you have today. We ache with you. Throughout this fight June, and of course, you have endured you have helped many of us along the way. Prayers for you today.

By carman96 On 2015.07.27 23:25
Dan, I'm so sorry. I know you have done everything you could to take care of June. May you find peace in this difficult time.

By jcoff012 On 2015.07.28 09:45
Tuesday morning,

Me ke Aloha, Dan and June. Woke up thinking of you this morning.

By dans316 On 2015.07.28 14:49
June is now comatose and no longer communicating. Her breathing has eased, but seems weaker.

Just an aside. Last week on Tuesday, I had June into the Elks for bar bingo and she was alert and seemed to enjoy herself. On Wed, and Thu, she spent most of the day with her eyes closed sitting in her chair and head tilted back. On both days we went out for supper in the evening, Wed to the Elk's and Thursday I picked up food at KFC and we went out to a Lancaster park and ate. She was alert and ate pretty good, no choking. On Friday after the choking incident, we went to the family doctor and he asked how long had she been sitting with her head back. I said about two days, but I thought maybe it was Parkinson related. He seemed to agree, but now I wonder if there is a tendency with PWP caregivers, to blame too much on Parkinsons and not look for other causes. One of June's problems besides the Pneumonia was low blood sodium, which can have many causes. A very serious condition called Hyponatremia as it can affect the brain and PWP already have enough going on with their brains. Is it possible this was overlooked and the blame just put on Parkinsons. I know, I'm doing too much second guessing but still????

Any way enough rambling, I want to thank everyone for their replies and kind thoughts.

Me Ke Aloha
Dan

By jaxrock On 2015.07.28 15:14
My heart breaks for you....May you find peace and comfort during this terrible, terrible time.

By Mary556 On 2015.07.28 16:07
Peace be with you, Dan & June.

It must be so difficult for you to get your mind around June's sudden decline. She had such happy days to start her week, bingo and a picnic in the park with her beloved. Dan, I hope it is not out of line to say, this is the way that I pray my loved ones will pass away, to suddenly fall into a deep peaceful sleep. except that it is so very hard on her family.

Thank you for telling about Hyponatremia. I had never heard of that and would not know how to guard against it. there is a wiki article, but it is confusing to me about the causes and prevention (if any). It seems like this is a complication of PD though: "The presence of underlying neurological disease... affects the severity of neurologic symptoms."

It must be hard not to replay everything and keep second-guessing, but I hope you know that *you did absolutely everything you could do to care for your dear wife*. I hope you will be able to rest easy. I think June would want us to remind you that. I feel like I came to know her through all the good advice you have given me to help with my Mom. I feel she was a friend to us as well, if that makes sense. I will miss her. too.
weeping for you and your sons and everyone who loves her.
God bless you and keep you.

Me Ke Aloha
mary

By jcoff012 On 2015.07.28 17:14
Dan, my only point of reference is Carl's Mom and my own Mom. My Mom, as you know, passed in March, but we had had a lively conversation the night before. I was extremely ill prepared for her sudden death. Carl's Mom had PD over 22 years, but she was amazingly alert 99 percent of the time. But, she was greatly loved and cared for, too.

No one can second guess. No one should, especially one like you. You are searching for a reason while immersed in a disease with none. "What if" and "Should have" does not matter, Dear Friend..."We love each other" is the sentiment you need to embrace.

Everyone on this board knows of your devotion and that is why WE want YOU to be comforted, knowing you are an amazing man, who shared his life and love with the beautiful June. She knew that, too...the look on her face at your luau is testament enough! Sweet memories...and you have many.

Hugs to you and the boys, My Friend. Jane

By umajane On 2015.07.28 20:31
My prayers are with you at this difficult time.

By walkingwounded On 2015.07.30 17:09
I'm so sorry, Dan! I didn't get the chance to know either of you, but know you're both in my prayers.

By dans316 On 2015.08.01 09:57
Thanks everyone for all the support. Sadly, June passed away about 10pm Friday,July 31.

By mylove On 2015.08.01 10:18
Dan, I'm so sorry. Our thoughts are with you at this tough time. Be comforted in knowing that you made her life a thing of beauty, and this journey a passage of peace.

By Mary556 On 2015.08.01 11:14
Prayers for you and your loved ones, Dan.
May the angels lead June into paradise. May choirs of angels receive her.
Eternal rest and perpetual light shine upon her.
God bless you and keep you.

By LOHENGR1N On 2015.08.01 11:24
My sincere condolences Dan to You and Yours. You both fought the good fight to the very end. Laught when you can, cry when you must and take time to heal. Again so sorry for your and your loved one's loss. Sincerely Al.

By jcoff012 On 2015.08.01 11:36
June and a blue moon...how poetic. Thank you for letting me know.

No words are ever enough, but your love was a real beacon, Dan. As the days pass, may you find comfort knowing that you lifted her up and gave new meaning to not only caregiver, but husband as well. Your love for June is paramount and, as always, we all are honored you shared with us.

May your faith guide you through the next days, weeks, and months. Much love to you and to the family. Always with you, Jane

By makrivah On 2015.08.01 20:56
Dan, I am so sorry for your loss. June is now without pain. May your happy memories bring you peace.

By ResistanceFutil On 2015.08.02 08:39
My deepest condolences for your loss.

By carman96 On 2015.08.02 09:54
I'm so very sorry for your loss Dan. Your devotion to your wife showed in all your posts. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing she is in a better place.

By jaxrock On 2015.08.02 11:58
May your memories give you comfort always.
My sincere sympathy and condolences to you at this very sad time.

By michele On 2015.08.02 21:01
So very sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.

By Trusting On 2015.08.03 12:06
Dan, I am so sorry for your loss. I've followed your posts and know how you have cared for her. It seems that this came on suddenly. I hope you can stay on this site to help some of us who are still going through the caring for our spouses. I'm sure you can give us some good advice. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss and will pray for you.

By VioletV On 2015.08.03 22:36
Oh Dan,
Your devotion to June has been a beacon of light on this forum. It was clear that throughout her struggle she was surrounded by your loving care.

My thoughts are with you--no words can be sufficient, but I do offer my deep condolences.

VV

By brainstorm On 2015.08.04 23:42
So very sorry to hear this. When I lost my Mum, it was a massive shock because just two days prior she was talking, eating, laughing, ready to be discharged from hospital,told me what she wanted to eat when she got home, and how she was going to have a nice long shower. then all hell broke loose the next day when she would not wake up, found that her blood gases were off. Pulmonologist came in and said non chalantly that she was dying. I will never forget that day. I have never felt so helpless.

I know you did everything that you could for June, but Parkinsons and metabolic disturbances do not get along. in my Mum's case it was hypercalcemia from an overdose of Vitamin D3.

After she died, I felt a huge void, but also relief, and with that some guilt, but it is only natural. After two years, I have made peace and accepted it was her time to go, and she us no longer in pain.

I hope you also find peace, knowing that you did everything that you could and that she was ensconced with love until the end. My deepest condolences. Take care.

By mksilton On 2015.08.11 20:13
So sorry for your loss of your beloved. I lost my mom on August 4 due to very similar circumstances. Her death certificate says nothing about PD, but of course we know that's what caused her death.

By dans316 On 2015.08.12 05:21
Thank you everyone for the love, support and prayers, it's what lifts my spirits everyday. They did put the cause of death as Parkinson's but I did mess up when I gave them the info for the obituary and did not include the cause of death. At the viewing several folks inquired what the cause of death was and were surprised when I said Parkinsons, the most common reply was they thought that only caused shaking.

In thinking about the past few years with June, I was extremely fortunate and blessed that I could care for her although admittedly there were times I wasn't so sure
about that. It was a rough journey for her and I often felt utterly helpless, yet I never heard any complaints from her.

Since I didn't have a wake for her after the burial, we are going to have a memorial to her at a Luau on 9/26.

I wish all of you the peace, love and strength you'll need for the journeys ahead.

Me Ke Aloha
Dan

By jaxrock On 2015.08.12 11:10
Dan, I only hope I will have the strength and courage that you have shown as I go down the very same path - which, unfortunately, seems to be soon.
And I pray that my husband will pass peacefully and know that he is loved, as your wife did.
It's rough journey, but I feel blessed that I'm having the chance to care for my Best Friend.
Peace and comfort to you in your future days and weeks to come....and thank you for sharing such a wonderful love story.

By lurkingforacure On 2015.08.19 21:38
I am so sorry for your loss, Dan, and appreciative of the example you have set for all of us. I will remember you and your love for June as we struggle onward, and know that I will be a better caregiver because of your presence and posts here.


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