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Topic Now showering:( Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By lurkingforacure On 2015.11.03 10:26
This is a bit embarrassing, but my husband is either forgetting to take care of his hygiene needs or it is simply too hard now. Maybe he even just doesn't WANT to! Either way, he will go days without showering and I have started reminding him he needs to shower (he's never been a bather) and he will say he's going to but then it never happens.

Because PWP lose their sense of smell, I think that also plays into it: he just can't smell himself. But everyone else can, plus it's not healthy. I've tried teasing him and joking and even firmness but nothing is working. Does anyone have any suggestions for this? He is mobile, just slower, and can certainly take a shower. Thanks.

By umajane On 2015.11.03 10:47
About every other day I tell my husband it's time for a shower..that's it. He is too lazy or tired and doesn't think of it himself. Once in the shower which he does alone he is happy and doesn't want to come out. I am there to help him dry off however and help him to get dressed as well.

By VioletV On 2015.11.03 13:58
I just tell him, "honey, I think you need a shower. I probably need one too -- aren't you lucky you can't smell me? I'll shower him once a week or so, and the rest of the time he showers himself, much less completely.

By mylove On 2015.11.05 09:17
It's an oddball symptom, for sure, but here too. From an absolutely meticulous man, no less. That and tooth brushing, which squicks me out. I'm solving it by suggesting that shared shower, which we both still enjoy. It seems to remind him.

I think he just forgets, particularly because he doesn't wear night clothes or 'interim clothing' like sweats very often. Usually he gets right up and dresses for the day because he needs to smoke and it's cold outside. I think that causes a 'missed cue' for the hygiene step. Maybe the secret is to keep that built into your daily routine?

By lurkingforacure On 2015.11.06 00:47
I think it is just too much effort and in his mind, it's not worth it!! And, I am wondering if he is secretly afraid he might fall? I certainly would be if I had PD.

I'm going to try to encourage him more frequently instead of letting it go. I hate to nag, he has so much on his plate, but I also don't want him having some health complication because he didn't want to take the time or effort or whatever it is to hop in the shower. Thanks for the comments:)

By carman96 On 2015.11.06 08:18
Yes, I will tell my husband he needs to shower when he starts stinking. I help him undress and stand by when he is showering. Then lay out his clothes and help him dress. I am afraid he is going to fall and he doesn't always do a good job. If he lets me I will grab the handheld shower head and rinse him off. Maybe once or twice a week.
I have to remind him to brush his teeth, use deodorant, etc.
Shaving is a big hassle and he always looks half shaved. I hate it but so hard to help him because he can't lift his head very far and can't sit still.

By sosad25 On 2015.11.06 13:05
I too have the same issues with my husband. He complains about having to shower. He cannot shower by himself and 2 x a week ( Monday and Friday) I force him to shower. I have to shower with him. We showered about 45 minutes ago. My hair is dried and I am dressed. He is still standing in the shower facing the wrong direction to get out of the shower. Don't know when I am going to get him out of there. We have 3 grab bars in the shower so at least he is holding on to one. I cannot get him to turn to get out.
This is frustrating but I do find some solace knowing that others have the same issue.

Brushing his teeth is also a struggle.

By LOHENGR1N On 2015.11.06 18:38
?!? He's been standing in the turned off shower for 45 minutes facing the wrong direction to get out? And you don't know when you're going to get him out?

By sosad25 On 2015.11.07 12:34
Actually yes. I did finally get him to turn around and step out of the shower.
I did not simply leave him there but he would not/could not move or could not understand how to move. If I tried to pull him out he would have fallen.
I was not abandoning him-- it was simply impossible to get him to move. The inference that this situation was my fault is frankly annoying

By LOHENGR1N On 2015.11.07 13:04
I wasn't there so I don't know what steps you took to try and unfreeze him or if you were in the shower talking him through sliding one hand a little then hold tight and slide the other hand and grip until using the shower bars he got turned. All I had to go on is your post you dried your hair were dressed and posted all while he couldn't either unfreeze or figure out the process. And frankly as a fellow patient I find that alarming. However such is the world of the computer and posting innuendo's and feelings for the most part don't carry with the words and misunderstandings arise. No harm, no foul.

By sosad25 On 2015.11.07 13:45
I'm sorry I over reacted. Yes I tried everything to unfreeze him. There are times when my husband seems to be almost in a trance and nothing works.
Again I am sorry. I would never knowingly or purposely put him in any danger.
Sorry again.

By carman96 On 2015.11.09 10:51
I think that I need to start plans for a wheel in shower. There will come a time when he can't step in and out and sit down on the seat.

By jcoff012 On 2015.11.10 13:40
Sosad25, I think there was a big misunderstanding about your first post. I have to admit, I, too, was taken aback for a bit!

I think, unless someone wants to give a better opinion from experience, I would speak to the neurologist. I am sure he can give you suggestions for what to do in case of freezing. My husband has not had bouts with this, so I hope you don't mind me stepping in...

It must be scary to face freezing, but there HAVE to be suggestions that work well. Good luck.

By carman96 On 2015.11.13 08:50
So sad, I understood your post completely. While I have not had my husband freeze in the shower, I understand freezing. None of the techniques for unfreezing work well for my husband.
He is at the max with sinemet because of his dementia.

By Lynnie2 On 2015.12.04 16:25
I thought my husband was having more problems than he was taking a shower.
I was actually getting paranoid because people said that I should be careful about him taking a shower as he could fall, so for a few times I helped him but I ended up getting
wet most of the time......
So I decided to see how he got along by himself. Now he gets into the shower by holding onto the super pole and the bar inside the shower.
We have a seat in the shower and he uses a margarine tub to help wash his hair.
He just calls me when he is finished and I help him dry off.
He seems to be okay, so we'll continue this way.......... and hopefully for a long time.........


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