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By EachDay On 2016.06.06 22:23
My PWP wants to go on a cruise and have a vacation. I find that when we go anywhere, he wanders off and does not tell me where he is going and when in a new place he has no idea how to return to start. Thus, for me vacation is just much more stress and being in a foreign county even more since his voice is soft and folks have difficulty understanding even here at home. How do you handle this? I tell him I do not want to go but he doesn't really understand anything about his inabilities. He thinks he does just fine. What do you do?

By ljharper62 On 2016.06.06 23:51
Is he willing to compromise on where you go? Perhaps there is a compromise where you can get away for a few days to a place more familiar to him. I would also discuss with MD to see if he/she can recommend the best way to handle travel.

By flowers12 On 2016.06.06 23:53
I feel for you. Maybe try taking a couple of days somewhere close to home to see how things work out. A few years ago we went on a cruise with his 2 sisters and their husbands and my sister and her husband. I thought this would be such a great vacation. My hubby had been doing really well and no bad episodes. Not. My hubby, on the second night of a 10 day cruise, had an episode of delusions where he thought I was trying to kill him. He left the room around 2 am and wouldn't let me near him. One of the crew finally walked by and talked him into going to sick bay. He was really out of it for two days. They kept him in sick bay and had me cut back on his meds. After that we really didn't do anything much but stay in our room. Now I'm afraid to go anywhere. His meds have changed but he still has dementia moments and I think that the big change from home to ship was to blame, it threw him off the norm. Luckily I took out the insurance for the cruise because it costs us a bundle for the medical stay. Sorry to tell you a horror story but I think the stress and excitment of going on the cruise is what caused my hubbys problems.

By Daisy123 On 2016.08.19 12:11
Does anyone else find that their loved one has bad episodes, delusions/hallucinations etc every time they stay away in unfamiliar surroundings?

One the last 4/5 weekend trips we've taken to see family/friends my DH freaks out at nighttime and becomes very agitated. I would say it is like he is acting out a particularly bad nightmare but he is awake and it can last all night.

His medications would be exactly the same as he would take successfully, at home. And of course because he is not then sleeping, he would be OFF and bad tempered pretty much all of the time the following day.

It's gotten to the stage that I am not inclined to want to go anywhere with him that involves an overnight stay. Also because our young son always travels with us, he sees it too and I know it scares him to see his Dad this way.

Mostly we stay with family or in my best friends house so he is really familiar with the place and it never used to be a problem but in the last couple of years it has become so. Luckily my friends are very understanding.

Has anyone found any way around this?

By flowers12 On 2016.08.19 12:59
Since the episode on our cruise we only stayed overnight one time. It was the same type of thing, a bad episode that lasted thru the night and half the next day. I'm afraid to go anywhere overnight now and so we just don't go anywhere. The doctor said it's probably being away from the familiarity of home that makes it happen. No suggestions on how to keep it from happening. I wish we could find a solution.

By dans316 On 2016.08.19 13:43
I thought of going on a short cruise with my wife several times in the last couple of years of her life, but one of my biggest fears was what if something happened to me. There would have been no way she could have handled that.

Me ke aloha

By VioletV On 2016.08.19 13:47
This is all so familiar.

The only time we travel overnight, now, is transporting the highschooler back and forth to boarding school. And I categorize that as my helping him bring his daughter to school. I think of myself as his caregiver, and not as a person traveling for my own enjoyment. So that means that I spend the time managing and supporting him, being observant of every little thing, sleeping with one eye open so that I can remind him at night, before he becomes afraid and agitated, that we are in a hotel, taking Daughter to school, orienting him, sometimes a couple of times in one night. It's not a vacation for me, that's for sure. The one thing I give myself on these trips is to choose restaurants that I know I will enjoy.

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