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We are home now, after seven days on "vacation" but, as my subject line alludes to...*I* reached my limits several times, but I admitted it...he insisted on going on and on til this morning....now, he doesn't feel well, everything hurts, and he is back asleep after breakfast! Why? Well, it's simple...|
He decided we needed a family vacation, which meant 6 adults and 2 grandkids ages 7 and 12. We drove 12 hours to Anaheim from Northern CA, in a packed van! Spent two days at Universal Studios, then 4 at Disneyland, and another 12 hour drive to get home!
I did ok with the stress, but all the walking got me down, trying to keep up with the grandkids was too overwhelming...so, although I went willingly, when I needed to rest, I did! When it became overwhelming, I told the group to go on without me...after awhile, they sensed I was doing my best, but all the meds from the stroke have slowed me down drastically...good for blood pressure and heart, bad for high level activity!
Carl, on the other hand, was determined to not let PD be part of the '"fun", so he pushed and pushed...until the last day at Disneyland, when he sat for the big parade...two hours...then wanted to be dropped off to swim. He seemed relieved when our grandson wanted to stay at the rental home to swim on the last day....everyone but the three of us did just that!
However, after the long drive yesterday, dropping off the others, and taking back the van, today, we got up late, had French toast, and now he is exhausted and asleep! I am sore and tired, but not to his level of discomfort...he was being stoic, I think, but it is backfiring BIG time!
In many ways, it was an eye opener for the adult children...and our granddaughter at one point asked him if the rides '"scared" him because his tremors were ramped up several times!
When we hugged goodbye, my son said, "I'm glad you made it through this, Mom. I see how the stroke has affected you, but the kids had a great time and I am glad you plowed through it all. It was a lot to squeeze into one week. You're a trooper." Our youngest daughter did all that driving, bless her heart...she, too, said, "Dad looked ok for a long time, but it was too hard on him. The kids notice the two of you slowing down, but they 'get it' better than we do."
So, some good came out of this...better late than never...But, I hate seeing him so exhausted...at least we are home!
Advice? 1-none of us, whether PWD or caregiver, is as young as we used to be; 2- TWO major theme parks, back to back, is too much; 3-make SURE you have a private pool for time to unwind, float, and recoup!
But, most importantly, notice the "little, subtle" changes and adjust...like relying on someone to drive, insist on down times (if all you do is sit on a bench), have life vests on in the pool for balance and security...