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Topic A rare positive experience Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By VioletV On 2016.09.24 14:22
I just had an eye-opening experience. Kind complicated, but bear with me. Things have kind of stabilized at a dull roar with my husband, and I've been getting offers of out-of-town gigs after not doing many for a few years. So I was going out of town for a 2 night stay and 2 speaking gigs this past week -- and at the last minute our regular housekeeper, who was the lynchpin of my caregiving plan, got injured and couldn't work. (Lucky me to HAVE a regular housekeeper, I know).

So I was panicked with less than 24 hours to figure out what to do, other than cancelling the 2 gigs and getting a reputation for unreliability. With some calls to friends, caregiving agencies we've used, etc. I found a local assisted living program whose intake director was able to work with us to get my husband approved (with an order from his PCP) for private pay for a 3 day in-and-out stay at their facility. They gave him a nice 1 bedroom apartment (about the size of one I lived in when I was first on my own), provided meals etc. Their staff provided support, and the private caregivers I'd already engaged for my trip met him there.

THEN on my way home mechanical issues delayed my plane and I missed the last connection home (and got a nice overnight in a Marriot at LaGuardia on the airline - a perk). The assisted living took great care of him for the extra day (and didn't charge me extra because "you've been so organized and it was easy").

What was surprising was that he was not uncomfortable at all, except for his uneasiness about my being away the extra day. He says the food was excellent and the staff were attentive and professional. In short, he was actually quite comfortable, except, as he told me, "most of the people there are old." What I learned was that there may be benefit in his having familiarity with an outside facility now, while he still has the chance to view it as just a short visit. Gave me peace of mind to have him there (tho it will cost more than half of what I earned for the work) and told me that if he HAD to go to a facility, there are good, safe, pleasant ones out there.
VV

By jcoff012 On 2016.09.24 20:52
Violet, and others, I wish I could be beside you as you find yourself making the decision for placement in an assisted living. Yes, it is expensive, but...It is worth the peace of mind and money. I have personal experience because I worked in one as the Activity Director. We also placed both my mom and Carl's mom in an assisted living. Both times, they were beautiful, clean, and both of our parents had a lot of friends and companions until they passed. They are not for everyone, but for 90 percent of residents, if approached and given time to acclimate, assisted livings are family oriented places with wonderful, talented people who are in this work because they genuinely love the residents. I did. So did all of the rest of the managerial staff. I am so glad you found out before an urgent need for placement. Rest easy and know that your husband(s) or wives are in a safe, sweet environment. Long gone are the days of confinement to an awful place. There is great pride in assisted living facilities and great comraderie.


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