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Topic I handled it this way... Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By jcoff012 On 2017.01.18 20:45
I have a suggestion for some of you that I hope will help...

For the last few weeks we have had numerous doctor and dentist visits, so our daily routines have been out of whack. Carl usually exercises, walks, works on some kind of "project"(woodworking). But, lately he has been sitting a lot and debating buying a table saw and joiner. Back and forth. Indecision. And, finally..."Should I spend the money if the PD will kick in soon and I won't be able to use the tools at all?

Seemed like depression was rearing its head...

So, this morning I sat down at the kitchen table and said, "Will these tools HELP make it easier for you to stay creative and active...and keep you doing what you love?" 'Yes. They are so much easier to use than the ones I have and would make things easier for me.' "Then, get them. Common sense to me."

I figure we tell PWP "no" and "you can't/shouldn't do THAT", that saying yes was a no-brainer...and, the smile and the glimmer in his eyes is worth far more to his/my well being than putting limitations on yet another possible scenario. Is it possible he will never use the new tools? Sure. But, I can always put them on Craig's list!

So, my suggestion is...try to find ways to say yes...we had the BEST two days!

By mylove On 2017.01.18 20:53
I agree wholeheartedly! It's why we have a new lathe....and stereo system. Get it. You can't take the money with you. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Enjoy the moments you can WHILE you can.

On a bittersweet note - Ben just decided to give up the big lawn tractor since his brother just moved to a place with a huge yard and ours is tiny. It was really impractical for us. But....it's the end of an era. :(

By jcoff012 On 2017.01.18 21:58
Michelle, every time you post, I think Ben and Carl are brothers separated at birth...GMTA! Lol

I agree, you can't take it with you! It's just that all of the tension and uncertainty in the world and in the family is out of our control. But, seeing even a glimmer of hope for the future "projects" makes my heart sing!

After I had my hair done today, I came home to that same table FULL of plans for *my* new office desk! He hasn't been so enthused in weeks! Think I made the right choice!

As for Ben's mower being gone, tell him it will really get a workout at his brother's and will mean Ben can now find a new "toy" for the yard! Something fun...😘

By Mitch On 2017.01.18 22:42
[deleted]

By SparkysGal On 2017.01.19 15:20
My hubby (PWP) has had a very rough past year with health issues not related to the PD. Femoral Artery By-Pass surgery in his left leg, collapse/failure of the surgery requiring Emergency repair and 3 days in ICU, and in November a "re-do" of the surgery. FINALLY, he is starting to feel better and is in the midst of a woodworking/tile project to rebuild or fireplace mantle and tile. I've had to help him with a bit of the table sawing and steady pieces for drilling, etc. because of the PD - but his spirits are sooo much better. Someone else probably would have knocked this project out in a few days and we are several weeks into it now and will be lucky to have all the wood pieces ready when the tile arrives a month from now. I don't care how long it takes as long as he is looking forward to the next day. The sketching, planning, etc. were started last spring and after Christmas he decided he was physically up to the challenge. He is careful to use gloves, safety glasses, guards, etc. because of blood thinners he has to be extra careful of injuries. When I come home from work now he proudly shows me the progress of the day, and some days he says "I was just too tired and not up to it - too shaky" - he's happier and so I am happy too. Enjoy these moments while we can.

By LOHENGR1N On 2017.01.19 16:24
This thread reminds me of a writing I did for the Commentary section on this site a few years ago. If you are interested click on [Commentary] at the top of the page scroll down to the bottom I believe it is 9th from the bottom. Joe, Doors and Parkinson's Disease. Glad this was posted keep on keeping on! And be easy on yourselves, don't get discouraged.

By jcoff012 On 2017.01.19 20:55
Thanks, Mitch. He did. These are not the most expensive, contractor tools, but are much more expensive than he has had for home use! Lol....he got the saw today and I have only seen him for about twenty minutes! Lolol

By moonswife On 2017.01.20 11:27
O.K. Ben and Carl do not know it, but they have a triplet in SoCal. All the same mood swings, all corrected by similar purchases. Just when I thought we had a real down turn and this crappy disease was getting the best of us, I started using a young (27) family friend as my PAL : personal assistant liberating me to still go to my business everyday. Young Andrew has no medical training, but he was an Eagle Scout and has LOTS of common sense. I refer to him as Mike's "security guard" keeping him from hurting himself. The last time I wrote was when our Health Plan would not release him to home unless I hired a certificated medical assistant. They even sent a Social Worker the day he was released from the hospital with an indwelling cath and pic line. Well, he was costly, but I found him, hired him, and fired him on day 22 when I stopped by at lunch to see him holding the bottom of a 12 ft ladder with Mike on top picking lemons. I asked "why would you let him up on a ladder" and he said "he wanted to pick lemons". DUH, a fall on the front lawn sent him to the hospital with a broken bone in his back...and this was just 4 weeks later? My new PAL handled it this way...."uh, Mike let's rethink this. If I am holding the ladder and you fall on me, you'll squash me dead. How 'bout if you hold the ladder and I pick the lemons?" And Mike held the ladder, seated on his scooter and all was well. Skip ahead to January and the two of them have done an amazing job with body filler fixing a dent in our classic '60 caddy that his Mother bought new. And yesterday Mike was the "straw boss" when I sent the two of them to change a set of locks on a property I manage. Tools.....the simple solution....tools.

By jcoff012 On 2017.01.20 12:11
Moonswife, excellent! Love it!

By jcoff012 On 2017.01.24 14:38
Well, I started something!...His new planer came on Friday, table saw today, joiner on this Friday! He is sooo happy and excited!

Al, I reread your post and agree...I am glad we opened Carl's "Woodworking Door"....😘

By flowers12 On 2017.01.24 18:13
I think its fantastic being able to help with keeping your PWP's mentally challenged, happy and busy. I wish I knew what I could give my honey to satisfy his desire to be working. He was an overhead fire sprinkler guy and supervised a crew. When he's having his off times he thinks he has to get the plans and get his crew scheduled. Often asks me how to get up to the attic to install the pipe, we don't have an attic to speak of. I just can't think of anything to give him. I was thinking about digging out some old plans we had around but then I'm afraid he might want to order the pipe and fittings. He doesn't have the manual dexterity to handle any tools.

By jcoff012 On 2017.01.24 21:28
To be honest, I wish your husband lived closer and could help us! I am serious...this house came with a sprinkler system but have no idea how to service it, etc...living in such an out of the way community, we have no experts close by...I completely understand how you feel...I am really worried he won't be able to, or will cause harm to himself, but how *I* feel doesn't matter...HE is too happy now!

You know, maybe encouraging him to work with plans isn't a bad idea...maybe he won't order anything! ;)


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