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Topic Moving is flipping out PD husband Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By bksquared On 2017.05.02 02:53
After several years of snowbirding, it has come time to stay in one place. The anxiety and stress of going from place to place has become too much for both of us. Now the anticipation of permanently closing down one home is flipping out my PD husband. "What will become of my things?" occupies his mind. He has always been a "collector" with boxes and closets filled with papers, cds, dvds, records, books, cards, playbills, photographs, etc. He can't take it all to one location, just isn't room for it all. But the idea of throwing anything (hoarder mentality) out has him overwhelmed. Due to his PD physical and mental limitations he can not actively participate in the moving process. So I need some advice on how to clean out all the furniture, household items, his collections, and get the house to broom clean so it can be transferred to the new owners in 6 weeks while coping with him and his ever-increasing anxiety and stress which negatively affects all his PD symptoms. The act of moving is causing a downward spiral, not the desired outcome.

By VioletV On 2017.05.02 11:49
BK
you need help. If you can afford it, hire a Senior Move Manager. https://www.nasmm.org/

You should be able to deduct the cost of that help from the profits on the sale of your house (ask your lawyer, of course). This is too much to take on by yourself. If you can't swing the cost, try to contact the Area Office on Aging near the place you're closing up.

Good luck.

By lurkingforacure On 2017.05.02 13:36
Excellent to know that this service is out there, Violet, thank you for letting us all know.

By Mary556 On 2017.05.02 14:15
bk2, in case this may help... years ago AARP magazine had an article about downsizing which gave some good advice. It may not be losing the actual items but *losing our memory of them* which creates the separation anxiety. (This stuck in my mind b/c I am a hoarder and come from a family of hoarders.) Their suggestion was to take digital photos of the treasured objects before they are recycled or trashed.

If you find a listing for St Vincent de Paul Society in your area, someone there should be able to suggest a place to donate your furniture, dishes, bedding, etc. for formerly-homeless persons who are ready to move to a place of their own. In my hometown there is an affiliate group of SVDP which set up a warehouse for such items and they would send someone to pick up the donation. I believe Salvation Army is another place we used when my Mom had to empty my grandfather's apartment quickly. They sent a truck and carried out bedframe, mattress, heavy furniture, etc.. You could request a receipt for charitable donation in case you will itemize deductions on your 2017 tax.

The last couple of years I've been trying to de-clutter our place in between caregiving. It is not an easy task. Yes, you definitely need some extra help now.

Best wishes and prayers for you.

By bksquared On 2017.05.07 18:58
Never thought of having him take photos of his precious things. I was going to leave the camera in AZ, but now will take it home to NJ. It will keep him very occupied trying to record all his memories while the rest of the house gets cleaned out. Hired an estate sale company. Their fee is nothing compared to the sanity they will give me. Told me a 3 day sale and they will leave the house broom clean for closing. We have a caregiver who is coming 3 days a week to help "us". Ordered a PackRat storage unit for the few items that will travel. Things are never under control with a PD spouse, but at least there is a least stressed plan coming together.

By VioletV On 2017.05.07 19:35
BK. Just a word on our experience with an estate company and "broom clean."

Be sure you are very very clear about how they will dispose of everything that does not sell.

We did this a few years ago during a very quick move from our old house. Lots did not sell and the house was left anything BUT broom clean. It was embarrassing, but I was, at that point, too exhausted to do anything about it but leave it for the buyers (who were getting a VERY good price for a quick sale). They also got quite a bit of good 'stuff' that didn't sell, but just get clarity about that.

Glad you are not trying to do it all yourself. We can only do so much.

VV

By bksquared On 2017.05.11 00:07
Hi Violet,
Thanks for the heads up on broom clean. The company claims that they move large pieces to their warehouse if not sold. Must read the small print. Hoping that a 3 day sale will sell most everything. I will now make certain the timeline allows for just-in-case days so I can marshal family for last minute help. Or once again hire some spare hands to help. Funny how you are suppose to move at time that is convenient for family. LOL :(


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