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Topic Accused of cheating-again:( Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By lurkingforacure On 2017.05.28 21:46
Has anyone been accused of cheating, having a boyfriend, funneling money to another man, spending time with "that other man" when I am out (always taking some kid to this or that activity, grocery shopping, refilling prescriptions, etc.)? This is happening increasingly frequently at our house and it's so tiring and frustrating. Of all the things to accuse an exhausted caregiver of, to me, cheating is the most ridiculous.

Plus, I find it particularly insulting to be accused of cheating. I have lovingly stood by and supported him during this PD journey when the vast majority of PD marriages end in divorce, raising our children by myself and taking care of literally every aspect of running a household and family. To be accused of cheating after all I have done is really upsetting.

Has anyone here had to deal with this?

By Checkmate On 2017.05.28 22:33
Lurkingforacure what you are feeling is emotional abuse. We know this is not what our PWP intend to do,but nonetheless this is what it is. We give so much of ourselves to keep the family going, and we not only get nothing in return we feel abused. You are not alone I am sure there are lots of caregivers including myself that have cried many tears over this same issue.
I hope you have a friend or family member you can call on. Just know that we are hear, listening and get it.
Hugs

By pinki53 On 2017.05.28 23:34
Not accused of cheating exactly but questioned any time he sees me talking to a man. He's very jealous. I was playing pool Friday night while we were at the Lodge and he came over to watch. Usually I'm shooting with some girls and he never comes to that area; but this time some men challenged me to a game.
He often asks me if I'll marry again if he dies before me. I assure him no way. What I don't say is I'd never take a chance that I'd end up having to take care of someone else all over again. Sad but true.

On the very rare occasion that I leave the house without him he asks lots of questions. Like I said, very jealous.

By LOHENGR1N On 2017.05.28 23:56
Lurking, We, those that have loved ones on agonists and or have been around the disease for awhile know that jealousy and accusations of infidelity unfortunately are common side-effects of that class of medication. Discuss with his Neurologist tweaking his meds to try to help lessen those effects.

By VioletV On 2017.05.29 12:52
Lurking
My husband is a bit jealous -- not pathologically so, and self-aware. I just laugh and tell him " oh right -- you wanna come next time?"

If you know you're following your own ethical standards, then just tell him it's nonsense and don't take it in to your heart.

By lurkingforacure On 2017.05.29 18:03
Thanks everyone, I know you are all right. This disease is so damn awful and creeps into every aspect of life.

Al, we are already at the lowest dose of anyone I know for mirapex-only 1.25mg a day. We took about that amount when first diagnosed, over a decade ago. It's hard to think we might need to reduce it even further, especially since both my husband and I think he is undermedicated and we need to up the meds. He wants to ask the doc to increase meds at the next appointment as he really has a hard time moving, doesn't matter if he has taken meds or not, time of day doesn't make a difference either. I know, though, that increasing meds is likely to increase the hallucinations and delusions, and we have those all the time already. I don't know how much worse it can get, and am scared to think about it. I guess we tell the doctor and let him make his recommendations, and hope things improve.

By Elaine7 On 2017.05.29 22:51
From what I understand, this can also be a symptom of dementia. Whether it be Alzheimer's, Lewy Body Dementia, Parkinson's Disease Dementia or Frontal Temporal Dementia. My DH has been diagnosed with some type of cognitive decline along with the Parkinson's. He says this also. One website that discusses this is https://www.verywell.com/partner-dementia-unfaithful-accusation-97645 I think if you Google this along with Dementia, it is quite common.

By Busymom On 2017.06.07 15:18
Yes!! I hear the same things! There are just some things he cannot do, physically, so when I take the kids to those types of activities (hiking up a mountain with the school class for example) and I tell him he must stay home, it's always because "I'm seeing someone" and either I'm "lying about [the activity I will be doing]", or we are "bringing the new guy with us."
I'm so sick of it...like you said, I as well have to do literally EVERYTHING in the house, and to suffer this kind of insulting behavior is the last straw!

By jose090 On 2017.09.01 00:42
I am so sorry for your suffering. But I have never met such thing in my life.

By aleccymru On 2017.09.01 13:42
I agree that this is a well-known side effect of Mirapex. The switch from Mirapex to Carbodopa pretty much eliminated it in our case (though plenty of other problems remain).

I am curious about the comment that the vast proportion of PD marriages end in divorce. Is this true, and if so is it documented?

By Burnsie33 On 2017.09.01 17:33
My pwp has not come right out and said it, but it has been implied and i have actually been followed to check on my whereabouts. Because he is in denial of having any emotional issues, i am unable to change our situation. It is so hard because the pwp has not got the ability to remember that my character is such that the idea of me having affairs is totally absurd. I definitely feel your pain!

By Sheridan On 2017.09.02 08:17
We went through this and other bizarre behavior 3 years ago. Suicide attempts also.
PWP was on multiple agonists and was self medicating and was out of control. He accused me of affairs and went far as to contact my workplace and friends and support group. Had to hospitalize him against his will. Nightmare due to Mirapex. Took along time to figure it out as he threatened me if I told his MD about any of his behavoirs. I left him for 3 months and am still the bad guy for all this. He doesnt even remember much of what he did. Ruined his relationship with our daughter and still cant understand why she is so distant. Our relationship suffered greatly and will never be the same. He finally decided it was choice between his mind or his physical abilities and stopped all agonists as they were poison to him. He cannot even take the smallest doses of Mirapex or Neupro as they affect his behaviors.
So sorry you are going through this.

By lurkingforacure On 2017.09.02 18:07
Sheridan, that is awful, for everyone. I am discouraged reading your post because our neuro wants to try quitting mirapex and replacing it with neupro because it is a patch and a more steady dose. Like most of these PD drugs, it sounds like they are great for some and horrible for others. It's so hard to know what to do.


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