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Topic Things are getting more difficult Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By flowers12 On 2017.06.17 00:18
These last couple of days my hubby has really gotten worse. He can hardly stand up to use the urinal when he always could. We were in the bathroom last night and I was holding him and the urinal for him and he just fell down. I'm not strong enough to hold him up. Thank goodness he didn't hurt himself. He seems to be unable to communicate except first thing in the morning before he gets his carbi-dopa. This has really been emotional for me to think he may become unable to do anything. I'm scared, I'm not ready for this stage. I finally have some help but I don't know if they are really worth the money. My honey sometimes falls asleep for the time they are here.

By pinki53 On 2017.06.17 10:37
((((hugs))))
There are days that I too worry that it has gotten too far for me to handle alone.
I've tried to convince DH to please sit on the toilet to urinate. 9 times out of 10 his undershorts and pants get wet when he stands. So far he is not cooperating.

It's also getting very hard to get him into the van. I bought one of the round rotating circle things but for it to work right, you have to back up to the seat and sit down and then rotate/turn. He insists on stepping into the van so he gets only a small part of one butt cheek on the edge of the seat. He can't raise himself up far enough to get over into the seat very well. His arms have no strength.
I have a small plastic stepstool that I'm trying to get him to use for getting in. Again he's resisting.

He falls often and I can't believe he hasn't broken any bones. The only way I can get him up is to have him turn so he can get on his knees. Then get his hands up on a sturdy chair or walker. Then I put my arm/elbow area under his arm pit and squat so I'm lifting with my legs instead of my back.

Praying for better days for you.

By pinki53 On 2017.06.18 12:01
This morning has not started off well. On his way back from the bathroom I encouraged him to stand up straighter and not let his Rollator get too far from him (as I always do). He got angry with me so I backed off and let him struggle to get to his recliner on his own.
He went to sleep again as usual. I went out to hang some bedding on the clothesline and when I came back in he was calling out. I went to him and he swung his arm out at me so I backed off. I realized he was partly asleep still. Then he told me I hurt him. I told him I'd been outside and he had been asleep but he told me to get away from him. So I've been sitting here watching him sleep and slide farther and farther out of his recliner.

He finally called for me to help. With only the tiniest bit of his butt still on the chair we struggled for 15 minutes to get him up and back in the chair.

These are the times I cry.

By flowers12 On 2017.06.18 12:43
Oh Pink, I know what it's like only too well. I've cried and sobbed so many times these last few weeks. I've never been a crier but I just get so overcome with sorrow that my honey is getting worse and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

I've tried buying all kinds of different things to make it easier. I finally bought him a rollator because the caregiver agency said we had to have one. He actually uses it and likes it. I get so discouraged lately. It seems like I think the caregiver situation is working out well and then something changes with the person and someone else comes out. I can't get my balance anymore, I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes. I'm worried whether I'm going to be able to help get him into and out of bed much longer, I'm in pain so much of the time, neck, shoulder, hips. Lifting, pushing, pulling is getting more difficult for me. There is little joy in our life. I try to tell myself "I'm Grateful For ......" all the good things in my life and sometimes it helps. Not having family around is so sad too.
Big HUGS and good thoughts coming your way.

By pinki53 On 2017.06.18 19:28
Flowers, You and I seem to be near the same stage in this. Thankfully I am not in pain - but it is still a strain to get him up and down and sometimes I feel it too much.
My family lives around here but his children are about 6 hrs away and their mother is currently in the hospital. So it's not like I can depend on them.

We just got back from town where I drove around all over looking for brown leather dye. He wants to dye the part of his belt that is all cut up and looking ragged. I bought 2 new belts at TSC for $8.50 each. I finally thought of Michaels Crafts where they have leather crafts. And instead of letting me go inside and look and get it, he insisted on going in too. He just can't understand how hard it is to get him in and out of the van.
Anyway, found the dye $7.50 LOL. Oh well, if it makes him happy. I just hope he doesn't spill it everywhere.

When we got home he wanted the heat turned on. I refused and checked the thermostat 79 degrees. Got a sweat shirt but he wouldn't put it on.

Just venting again. I know exactly what you mean by no joy. I feel like I rarely smile.

By moonswife On 2017.06.18 20:35
Ladies....you two are not alone. I am in the same boat....and somehow all of us have lost the paddles. 5 days out of the last eight he has been in bed, or the recliner asleep (for me or the caregiver) until 2 pm. He is woken up to take some of his Rx. Then, everything turns around and he goes to his shop and sweeps and sweeps and is fixated on sweeping. Or sorting tools. Or moving things from one place to another. Often I am so tired because it is after 9 and I have to be up 5-8 times a night and work the next day at my business. I feel like the only place I EVER smile is at work. Hugs to you both

By pinki53 On 2017.06.18 21:21
moonswife,
I wondered if others were as fixated. I call it obsessed! He can stay up till 1 or 2 am and be totally exhausted.


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