For those who care for someone with Parkinson's disease
[Forum] [Home] [Help] [Search] [Register] [Login] [Books] [Commentary] [Contact] [Donate]
You are not logged in


Topic toddler behaviour Go to previous topic Go to next topic Go to higher level

By lurkingforacure On 2017.09.01 23:31
The other day my husband wanted me to lift him. I can't lift him, he knows this, I have never lifted him. I reminded him that I couldn't lift him because I would seriously hurt myself if I did (and I'm not even sure I could lift him, even with injury-I'm just not big or strong enough). He told me that I "had to". I was shocked. I told him if I hurt myself lifting him, our kids would have no one to take care of them. He didn't seem fazed at all, and told me it was my job and I had to help him. I refused and he got mad. I offered to call 911 to help him up and he said never mind.

We seem to be in a combative mood lately and he wants to argue about everything. He also wants me to watch him do the most mundane things-move his foot, put his hand on top of the walker. It's like a little kid wanting their mother to watch them jump into the swimming pool or color. It's exhausting and frustrating because he's completely safe but when I tell him I can't watch him because I have to make dinner, check homework, etc., he will suddenly have a loud voice and announce that he is dangerous and it's an emergency (even though it never is). What is up with this? I'm a mess trying to deal with it and have made several mistakes because I'm so frazzled.

We've had no med changes. We still hallucinate, robustly, even though we are taking Nuplazid: the other day he was convinced there was an eel trying to get into our house and when I reminded him eels have to live in water, salt water no less, he said there was a special kind of cloth the eel could wrap itself in that would protect it from the air and allow it to live in our backyard.

I can handle the hallucinations and delusions (at least I think I can)...it's the increasing combative behaviour with the demanding attention that is really wearing me down. It's like living with a 200 pound toddler. Does anyone else have this or know what can help?

By Busymom On 2017.09.05 17:19
Unfortunately I don't have any words of wisdom, but I am dealing with the same kind of thing, you are not alone. Spent the whole day yesterday, my holiday off work, arguing with my PWP around in circles, with him ranting about this or that, trying to do things he can't do, and threatening to do things he shouldn't do, all in front of the kids of course. I know part of those things is that he feels out of control, but by the time he decides to stop his rant, he can't remember what he started ranting about, and then starts in on something else.
Plus he calls either me or one of the kids for everything, even things he can do like slide his foot three inches over in bed, he's getting to where he's just choosing not to do things for himself, because it's easier to holler out for someone else to do it.
Not to mention we have a very sick pet in the house too right now, he should recover but it's a mess right now until he does.
It's all very exhausting. I am realizing dealing with the ranting and anger and unrealistic threats etc is actually more exhausting than the physical tasks, it just shoots me down and saps all my energy.
The thing with the eel though...that's really something, my goodness!

Anyway, hugs to you...you are not alone!

By lurkingforacure On 2017.09.05 21:37
Busymom,
Can you politely end those conversations?

I have just started doing this. Now, when my husband is going around and around in circles talking me to death and I feel like I am losing my mind and about to throw myself off the deck, I will tell him that we are at the point in the conversation where it is unproductive to keep talking, and so I am withdrawing from the conversation. I say it kindly, but very matter of fact, like I am telling one of our kids about a house rule. Then I walk away and go into another room. I know it probably sounds ridiculous but it is absurd to keep saying the same things over and over and every other thing out of my mouth is "what? I didn't understand what you said", either because he is mumbling into his armpit or speaking too quietly. We get to the point where continuing to talk is utterly pointless and like you mentioned, often halfway through a "discussion" he has forgotten what we were even talking about, so I know it is frustrating for him as well.
Politely ending the conversation gives us both a chance to reset. Perhaps this might help you as well when you're in this situation.

And I am so sorry about your pet, I hope a full and complete recovery is made soon:)

By aleccymru On 2017.09.06 07:03
My personal favorite is when I say "This discussion isn't going anywhere, and my wife responds "Then why did you bring it up"!

By Busymom On 2017.09.06 17:56
Yes, I think that's the best plan, because there's no point in conversations like that. It's hard because he follows me around or calls me over and over and tries to keep them going, but I'm just going to have to be firm about it and keep my word that I won't discuss it further.

By Mountainreader On 2017.09.15 14:46
This is my first posting. I am dealing with toddler behavior from my Mother. I have to say "no" constantly to unreasonable requests. It is exhausting.


© 2003-2016 MyParkinsons.org · Privacy Policy & Terms of Use
Published by jAess Media. This website and Forum is sponsorsed by people like you