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By lurkingforacure On 2017.09.23 13:09
Hi all,

My husband is having a heck of a time, physically and mentally. But the physical is what I am seeking help with right now. He's been struggling with getting up and in and out of chairs, bed, toilet. Looking ahead, I bought him a nice lift chair/recliner many months ago. He is increasingly not using it because he can't figure out the two buttons (one up, one down) and he tells me it's "slippery" (it's not-I almost wish it were, so he could slide out of it).

He wants me to lift him, pull him, push him, move him basically, and I just can't. He is way too heavy and we've fallen together a couple of times and I've hurt myself to the point where I thought I had maybe seriously done some damage. So now I explain to him that he needs to move himself, that I'm not strong enough to move him for him, that all the medical staff have told me not to move him because he needs to maintain his function, and it simply isn't safe for me to do that. I remind him we have kids and I'm the only one able to care for everyone, and if I get hurt we will have a massive problem. He gets made and yells at me and scream that I have to move his foot, lift him out of this #@! chair, that it takes him so much longer to do it himself than if I do it for him and I'm being mean, and on and on.

I explain he has PD, and that everything is harder. And everything takes longer. And it sucks and I'm sorry but I can't make it go away and he has to use his muscles and maintain his function or he is going to lose it. All of his therapists, doctors, nurses, everyone have told him this, it's not news. But I can't reason with him because he has cognitive issues and when I try to walk away lately he'll yell louder and accuse me of worse. This morning I asked him if we needed to go to the ER because it got so bad.

I can't keep on like this and don't know what to do. What do caregivers do for this?

By flowers12 On 2017.09.23 18:02
Hmmm, this is the same issue I'm sure most of us are facing. I bought my hubby a Lift-Chair which has relieved me of lifting him fully out of his old regular recliner. He uses a walker now so once he's up I don't have to have his weight fully on me. There are gait belts that help with lifting a person out of a chair and in walking. If your PWP can use his arms and legs to pull himself up then you could get one of those poles that can be used by a chair, toilet or bed. They can be installed easily and don't require drilling any holes.

By lurkingforacure On 2017.09.24 15:28
Thanks for this, I'm going to order one of these and hope it helps.

My husband has good strength. Our situation is more that he wants me to do his moving for him because it's just easier. I get that he's tired all the time, and his legs feel like they weigh 100 pounds apiece. I know that I can move him much faster than he can move himself....but he really needs to move those muscles on his own.

When we went to exercise class last time, I was shocked to see him straighten up and walk smoothly with his walker when he entered the facility-he never moves like that at home. The manager told me that she sees that all the time, and thinks it's because the patient doesn't want others to see them like they are at home. I guess it's like when we go to the doctor and our PWP looks so much better than he ever does at home. My husband is also able to get it together pretty well to go have lunch with a friend. He has the muscles and strength, but I'm afraid he's going to lose those if we don't figure out a better way to help/encourage him to use them. Hopefully this pole thing will help. Thanks for sharing the tip:)

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