My husband is having a heck of a time, physically and mentally. But the physical is what I am seeking help with right now. He's been struggling with getting up and in and out of chairs, bed, toilet. Looking ahead, I bought him a nice lift chair/recliner many months ago. He is increasingly not using it because he can't figure out the two buttons (one up, one down) and he tells me it's "slippery" (it's not-I almost wish it were, so he could slide out of it).
He wants me to lift him, pull him, push him, move him basically, and I just can't. He is way too heavy and we've fallen together a couple of times and I've hurt myself to the point where I thought I had maybe seriously done some damage. So now I explain to him that he needs to move himself, that I'm not strong enough to move him for him, that all the medical staff have told me not to move him because he needs to maintain his function, and it simply isn't safe for me to do that. I remind him we have kids and I'm the only one able to care for everyone, and if I get hurt we will have a massive problem. He gets made and yells at me and scream that I have to move his foot, lift him out of this #@! chair, that it takes him so much longer to do it himself than if I do it for him and I'm being mean, and on and on.
I explain he has PD, and that everything is harder. And everything takes longer. And it sucks and I'm sorry but I can't make it go away and he has to use his muscles and maintain his function or he is going to lose it. All of his therapists, doctors, nurses, everyone have told him this, it's not news. But I can't reason with him because he has cognitive issues and when I try to walk away lately he'll yell louder and accuse me of worse. This morning I asked him if we needed to go to the ER because it got so bad.
I can't keep on like this and don't know what to do. What do caregivers do for this?