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| I always use the don't travel further than 12 hour rule which fortunately includes flying. However, this is why I haven't been out of the country in a decade. My mom is currently in the hospital and I have to go away next week to Texas (I'm in CA). I figure if I need to, I can hop on a plane and be home in under 12 hours. Good of your son to help out. He will really get a taste of your life. |
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| I hope you're looking forward to your much deserved break, caregivermary. You don't say how far you're considering traveling so I'll just share my first thoughts. If the son has been kept informed about how his dad is doing during the past year & based on the fact that you'll be there for a day or so before your break I suggest you travel as far as you're personally comfortable. I know you'll make sure the son can get in touch with you & knows where to take his dad in case of an emergency. I feel the main focus should be on you - how far away you feel you can travel & be able to relax & enjoy the time. Your hubby should be fine & this will give son an appreciation for the sacrifices you make on a daily basis. |
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| If it helps you in your decision --my caretaker spouse will be taking at least two trips this year, and with my encouragement, possibly a third. Two willl be overseas and a continuation of travel plans we had before my DX of 2 years ago and current inability to get the walker up our driveway. We use any one of three volunteer relatives who have done an excellent job keeping me on my feet, taking my meds,etc. I do.however, have a nurse practitioner who assists me in showering and dressing. I would encourage all caregivers to get in as much rest and relaxation as possible. The percentages will get lower as the usual PD progression continues to demand more of your time and effort. Bob C |
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| I wrote into my "contract" with my siblings that when I made the call, they better run. They have been wonderful and last summer I was able to spend a month with my new granddaughter. A couple of times a year, I do a little three day getaway. Always no more than an hour drive. Who wants to deal with security at the airport when it's just a quick trip? I usually pick a B&B in the mountains or a nearby community. Sometimes I go to a place that has music at least one night. I always take books and get a pedicure or massage. Definitely make it about you. And tell them to call only in an emergency. You need the R&R if you are to be a whole and caring caregiver. Also, with my siblings it's always good for them to get a reality check on what it's really like. Suzanne |
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| thank you all so much for the replies. great advice. Mary |
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| Bob, I'm afraid it would hurt my Dad's feelings if he thought I needed a break from caring for him. Your thoughts? Thank you, Mary |
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| Mary: You, of course know your dad well enough to know whether your taking a break would "hurt his feelings". Depending on the stage he is in (degree of awareness), and your past experiences with those feelings I would think any reasonable father would understand the need for a caretaker to have a little time off. If he had any military service he knows how important it is for those involved in a continuing stressful environment to have what we called R & R (Rest & Recrecreation). If you think he can handle it ,read him this thread, explain the role I play as a patient advocate and tell him I think you are all entitled to a 7 day cruise! Bob C |
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| Thanks, Bob. I'll keep you posted. Mary |