Helping Those Who Care for Parkinson's Patients
| [Home] [Forum] [Help] [Search] [Register] [Login] [Donate] |
| You are not logged in |
|
| ||
|
My beloved husband of 55 years died last Tuesday, at home, surrounded by his eight children. It was peaceful and if it wasn't so sad for all of us loving him so much, it might even be called beautiful. It was a special, special final gift from a wonderful husband, father, grandfather and friend. Hospice nurses walked us through each of the stages during his last 3 days and he followed the "script" perfectly and in his own time. He was in no pain and no hurry. Hospice was extraordinary and soothingly calm as they guided us thru his final hours. His bodily functions began their final shut down and he could no longer drink or swallow. We lovingly moistened his mouth with water, put vaseline on his chapped, dry lips and just loved him and held his hand. We cried and shed many tears as one by one we said goodbye. He knew we were there with him and every so often would open his eyes and seem to look deep into our souls. He was so peaceful and unafraid. No twisting, no turning, no agitation - just unlabored breathing that finally became quieter and quieter and more difficult to hear. I wrapped my arms around him, held him close and and told him how much I loved him. I told him I would miss him all the days of my life, would think of him every single day, would cry and be sad but that if he needed to go I understood. I told him I knew how tired he was and how hard he had worked fighting this damned disease and that he deserved his rest. He closed his eyes for the last time and focused on the process of dying for the next 2 days. We cried, held his hands, and waited for him to take his last breath. Hospice nurses sat with us and explained each detail of the final process as his breathing became more and more shallow and his systems shut down one by one. There is a wonderful paper Hospice gave us entitled Preparing for Approaching Death. You can "google" it on line if and when you face the death of your loved one. It might give you comfort. It did me. It's a must read for any one loving, crying, holding on and helping a loved on complete their final journey. And please - if I can give you any advice I would urge you to call Hospice sooner rather than later. I waited too long and only had them for the last 3 days of his life. I will be forever grateful for that time. I refused to accept that he was dying and in stage 5 of Parkinson's. I was certain he would rebound yet once again and failed to face the reality. I guess it's because we love them so much and want to hold onto them forever. But they deserve the peaceful and calming rest that comes to them after their long hard battle. These are tough times for this old lady, but some how, some way, with the help of God, family and friends, we'll get thru them. |
| ||
| I wish peace for you both. |
| ||
| May God hold you & your family close as you grieve your loss. You will be in my thoughts & prayers. |
| ||
| punky, know our thoughts and prayers are with You and Yours. Laugh when you can, cry when you must. May God's Angels comfort and warm you, may they light the long path before You in the cold dark land of grief. Heal in time, knowing We're here on the forum to lend a hand whenever need arises My Friend. May peace and comfort nestle inside You and Yours. |
| ||
|
Dear Punky What a wonderful tribute to your husband. I am glad that you were able to share that with us - we are all one family in this disease. I have a friend who's husband died last Thursday of PD. I had encouraged her to get Hospice involved and like most of us she was reluctant to face the inevitable end. She did have them for the last two weeks of Jim's life and she tells me that they were wonderful. I don't lnow how I would have made it through my husband's death without them. These people are angels here on earth. I hope that you are at peace and that you feel that your husband is in a better place. I continue to feel that mine is still around to guide me. I personally found that I experienced a sense of relief when it was over and if you do that is ok. It is a hard road for all of us. |
| ||
| Punky, thank you for sharing such a difficult loss. You worded your husband's last days in such a heartwarming, touching way. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am sorry for your loss. He is blessed to have you. Glod bless you! Mary |
| ||
| I hear of hospice in many of the posts in this forum but am unfamiliar with them. Does the doctor tell you when to contact this service? Are they there only for the end days? Any input would be appreciated - thank you - Mary |
| ||
|
Georgianna, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for posting this tribute to him here on this forum. He definitely was surrounded by the love of his family when he left this earth. God bless, Bruce |
| ||
|
punky (georgiana): Thank you for the inspiration that allowed you to share your husband's passing with us. I'm not certain whether the tears I shed were out of sadness for your loss or some subconcious longing that I might be able to follow the path your husband took to his eternal life. Hopefully my lovng spouse and four children will remember me as a "wonderful husband,father,grandfather and friend". Bob C |
| ||
| Punky, I am so sorry for your loss. Your words describing the peacefulness of his passing were very beautiful. Please take time to take care of yourself. You are in my prayers. |
| ||
|
Punky, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thank you also for your beautiful tribute to him. Kristine |
| ||
| I too am sorry for your loss, that is very hard. Our prayers are with you as well. |
| ||
|
I went back and looked at your most recent posts just to get a better understanding of everything you have gone through in the last several months. It is such a journey. Even though hospice was involved only in the last 3 days of his life, their support can continue with your walk through your grief. We lost my father to lung cancer 7 years ago and hospice has been huge in helping my mom transition from being part of a "couple" to being a "single". Keep using their support services! I am thinking that it might be a good thing to get them involved at this point with my FIL. Thanks for sharing! Praying for you and your family! -Jenny |
| ||
|
Hi Punky... It has been so long.. I just signed into the forum today to read about your loss. I am so sorry to hear about your husband's passing. I am so happy to hear that your children were there for you and your husband. May God give you comfort during this hard time for you. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Patti |
| ||
|
hi punky, its sad to hear your husband's death. yrs peter |