Helping Those Who Care for Parkinson's Patients
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I’m not really asking for any advice in this one, just need to get some stuff out. DH has PD, but can still drive, work, and function pretty well. Well, I work as well, but I am going to be laid off, probably by September. I WANT to be laid off. I have been working really hard over the past year to make this happen because I will get a really good severance. I thought I could take some time off longer than 2 weeks (for the first time in 20 years). I thought I would try to work on myself and my attitude towards PD and my DH. I pretty much feel like I just pretend in our marriage at this point and can’t figure out if it is just because of stress or what. Hoping that some time off will clear things up a bit. Thought I would try to stay home long enough for my daughter to start and finish kindergarten next fall. Thought I would work with the kids to get them helping out more around the house. Thought I would talk to a lawyer about our future, maybe a financial planner, too. That has been the only thing keeping me going for quite some time. My DH isn’t that bad off, but I am pretty much in charge of everything. I do all the remembering, appointments, son’s snack for school, kids Tae Kwon Do uniforms and gear for class, plan dinner each night, don’t forget to register daughter for kindergarten, and on and on and on. Sometimes if I ask for help, I get it, but it’s not usual. So, I am tired as we all are. Thought I had a nice break coming up. WRONG!! My husband was laid off of his job this past week. I was shocked. His department is so small, 2 people and 1 boss, that when he told me that people at his company were being laid off, I didn’t think it would be possible for my DH to be affected. Now, I am not really so concerned about the financial side of this. I’ve basically given up on money. We don’t have it and probably never will. I don’t expect to be able to send the kids to college or have a retirement for that matter. I haven’t exactly accepted those facts yet, always wanted to be able to pay for the kids education, but oh well. I’m really just heartbroken that this break I was hoping for is gone. I keep thinking that my DH may not have that many years ahead that he can work, so why can’t he be working while he can. He wants to and I want to stay home, just for a little while, that’s all I want. I find it so ironic that this is the second time in 3 years that he is home and I am working, when what we both want is the opposite. Now I also worry about health insurance. If neither one of us can find a job after I get laid off, boy is that going to get expensive. We haven’t really recovered financially from the first time this happened, and now I’m thinking that I may end up having to use my 401K if things get rough. It’s just very hard to see that everything I have worked for at this company for the last 14 years could very possibly be gone, leaving us with nothing. Yes, I am being a bit pessimistic here, and, who knows, maybe everything will work out for the better. It’s just so hard to keep having a positive attitude when all these things happen. I’m worried about my DH being able to find a new job. The economy is awful, and any job that is out there has hundreds, if not thousands of applicants. What about when he goes on interviews? There is no way to hide the fact that he shakes. It’ll be even worse because he will be nervous. Again, being pessimistic, but what will people think when they see that? So, having said all of this, I went to church on Sunday and what do you think the sermon was about? DON”T WORRY!! That was what the sermon was about. God is in charge and knows what he is doing even when we don’t. Well, I just sat there and thought, I don’t care right now. All I want to do is throw myself down on the floor and have a tantrum like a 2 year old. Well, I didn’t do that. But I still want to. I know that I can and will move on soon enough, but, boy I just feel like being stubborn and feeling sorry for myself. Anyways, I just needed to get some of this out. There’s more, I guess there always will be, but hopefully things will settle down for us at some point. |
