Helping Those Who Care for Parkinson's Patients
| [Home] [Forum] [Help] [Search] [Register] [Login] [Donate] |
| You are not logged in |
|
| ||
| I just read your missive re country living. Please go to "hapidawg" on 2/21/09 and give me your opinion, especially about my posting about property (towards the bottom) and letting go of it. I'd like to know what you think about keeping or selling. |
| ||
|
Hi Hapidawg, My husband and i got your posts. O.K. about the buyer. my husband who is not just a retired supreme federal judge for 60 years, he is also a realestate lawyer. He wanted me to pass on to you and your family to beware of a eager buyer. obviously he seems to see your property the way desribed it. it seems he one of those pushy type. dont feel guilty and let him pressure you into selling. if he really wants it he will be around to buy it, if and when your ready to sell. regardless i'm sure there will be plenty more prospective buyers behind him! your home sounds wonderful!! Please dont let outside people, places and things pressure you or feel guilty. I'm sure you will agree we both have enough pressures and stress in our life at times!!! i cant help wondering if your broken trees limbs and branches in your yard really bothered you laying on the ground. the reason why im asking is as i mentioned dont let it bug you. as i mentioned in my post we have a beautiful pond, and in Sept of last year huricane Ike knocked down three big huge pine trees into my pond and are unfortunately still in there. since that time i have learned to look at my pond and they're practically invisible (Ha, Ha,). Spring is just arriving here in Texas and it is time for my husband and i to focus on how to tidy up the yard and feed and prune the flowers and have the trees removed then. You mentioned that your husband does alot of that T.V. watching, mine too! i dont recall if you said you had a porch outside or not but if you do already please disregard this next paragraph. My porch is my way of getting my husband away from that boring T.V. and pay attention to me as well as he has to walk to the porch! (only if to take another one of his cat naps, but at least in fresh air)!!! I exspecially enjoy our conversations while i play with the rose bushes and flowers. in fact his father had his own florist shop and my husband has given me great tips on how to care for my flowers. in fact if it wasn't for him and his knowledge of flowers i probubly would have killed them by now, due to the fact the women that sold us our house left those beautiful flowers in the custody of this city girl! I know the flowers are grateful!!! well i hope i was helpful but i can understand some of the matenance around the house is really quit hard or making it handy cap assesible. i only have one floor so its not very expensive to a ramp in. let me know what you desided |
| ||
|
Hi "the judges wife" The story is longer. We sold the property I'm speaking of "contract for deed" four years ago. The man that bought it, sold it three years ago to the folks living in it. The first guy, the one we sold it to, defaulted on his loan and we now own the property again leaving the folks in it in the lurch. They have rented from us since Dec. 1, 2008. They are good people. All the people involved were good people making bad choices. They have already been approved for a loan and we have seen the letter from the lending institution. However, the man that defaulted, who now lives many states away, is claiming that we interfered with his contract by making a deal with them - which we didn't and haven't. They have offered and we have said we don't know if we want to sell. We do have e-mails back and forth from an attorney that clearly shows that we never spoke the the second party until we were back in possession of the property. They are seeing an attorney and he has given them a procedure to follow to clear things up on their end. Meanwhile, they have been so stressed over losing the place, that they are beginning to think about the reality of having to move and stated they may start looking. This is just one of the many issues I am dealing with. In my first post I didn't get into everything. It would all be so much simpler if I would just let go and tell them that when they got things cleared up, we would definitely sell to them. Then, they could relax and enjoy the home. |
| ||
|
More info - We have no cash. We have property because during the years of our marriage, we remodeled and built houses and put every penny back into other property. We need to let go of something. It's trying to figure out which one and that's difficult. The house in town, in a historic neighborhood, is lovely. The neighborhood is declining with what we call a "crack house" just one half block down the street and some neighbors that don't take care of their property - and - of course - city noises. Our house has 10 steps to get into the front door and 13 narrow steps down to the basement where we have our bedroom because we gave Mom the upstairs room. She wanted the windows to the back yard. How important is it that we have a more handicapped accessible home? I don't know. |
| ||
| hi check out your local churches and non profit services to up grade your home to better reach your husbands physical neds.if you dont mind me asking, what city and state r u in. |
| ||
|
What a tough spot to be in, but at the same time, you have some nice options. I'll share with you what we put as the goal when we redid our house: 1. ease of use (we wanted to make the square footage we did have work better, and be more functional); 2. ease of maintenance; and finally 3. curb appeal (my husband, always wanting to be sure we can get our $$$ back if needed) All of the repairs/improvements were done with these goals in mind. It really helped keep us focused. We made the following improvements to help with accessability: high toilets (Toto makes great ones); replaced all doorknobs on every door with levers, much easier to use no hardware on cabinet doors or drawers, just a niche that your fingers slide into (this was cheaper too, hardware is really expensive and the choices are mind-boggling) shelves built into our shower wall so you can easily get shampoo, soap, etc. all faucets have levers and are wide-set, again, much easier to use It helped that I bought all of these things myself, saving a ton of money and time, and then we basically just had them installed. With your situation, I would be very mindful of the first two goals. You are going to be doing most of the work, so it should be as easy on you as possible. And since you have two people that at some point could be handicapped, I think that would be a high priority. As long as someone is independent, or relatively so, it will cost less for their care (you will not need help, or as much of it), and more important, keep their morale up. One of my husband's worst fears is that he will "be a burden". The more he can do for himself, and the longer he can do it (goal #1, ease of use), the happier he will be. I would also keep in mind that you may well stay in this house yourself for a very long time...so make it something you can maintain very easily, and love living in. One thing about building new is that it is new, and you can choose materials that will last longer than any of us and are a cinch to maintain. You can have that wide open floorplan so wheelchairs, if needed, are no problem, and the barrier-free showers (we couldn't put one of those in, but they are so nice). If you end up with a house with stairs, you may at some point have to put in an elevator, and those are cost prohibitive. So keep that in mind as you weigh your options. From your posts, I think I would ignore the house that is rented as a possibility because it has legal issues saddling it right now, and that is just one more nightmare to have to deal with, plus as we all know, legal issues can take a long time to resolve. Or not, depending on so many things. But given that you are acting as caregiver to two people, I would want to avoid that if at all possible, you have so much already on your plate. Hope this helps. |
| ||
| Yesterday, we drove out to "the land." It is beautiful. I think we might sell the house in town and move to the country. I talked with the VA yesterday and they will help with getting either home handicapped accessible. That greatly relieved some of my anxiety. The home on "the land" is more open and would accommodate physical changes to it more easily. We can live there a year or more and if we don't like it, we can sell. I just don't want life to slip away and never be able to experience this dream to "live out." It is remote, but there are close neighbors (the neighboring 40 acres) and they are home most of the time. The house is not the same as the historic house, but it is well built and has all conveniences - just not the fine woodwork. And, as previously stated, no yard to mow. No trees around the house that need upkeep - but aspen woods, grasslands, and willows in the wetlands in the valley front of the house. On a daily basis we can watch, mule deer, white-tailed deer (we even had moose one day) antelope, marmots, chipmunks, etc., the weather rolling in down the valley, and bird varieties galore. Our state is not yet as affected by the economy as much of the nation, although it is some, so I need to get in gear and make decisions. Yeah. Right. The weather 6 months of the year is perfect. If the winters get too tough on us, we can up and leave - go south for the winter. We live in Wyoming - Cheyenne. To be honest, I am concerned about my health as well - some days are great - some are not. I don't know how much is physical and how much is mental. But, if we sell one of the properties, we will have enough to be free to change our minds if we choose. I'm just rambling on -- dreaming. Hoping. |